MUTTONFIST
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Modern Minstrelry


Mostly Improvised In-House Christmas Performance- Parakeet Studios archive


Written by: Muttonfist


"I Stay Undercover" and "Did All You Women" released from Tuxedo Entertainment catalog by NCSJr.

(bit of I Stay Undercover)


Christmas in the city
Why don't you go fire up some lights?
Christmas in the city
Why don't you go buy something?
I don't know why
I want to cry.
I really couldn't do
I really couldn't do a fly
by good bye
But I really couldn't live
with your lies
It's Christmas in the city
Still Christmas in the city
and I don't know why.
Christmas in the City
Christmas in the City
Christmas in the City of lights
Christmas in the City
Christmas in the city of might.

Christmas in the city of lights...

(bit from Did All You Women)

I want a bug
I want a haircut, red down to my feet.
I want a restaurant bathroom urinal
And a credit line debt grace
I want a record company.
I want a fine car.
I want a vw bug, painted up with
a Moon and a Star
I want to fight the fires. It justifies
Frost on those white eyes.
I want to jam therefore I am
But I'm alone
Feeling like a Yuppie scum
I'm alone, feeling like the Devil's son.
But I'm alone
Feeling like a Yuppie scum
Let someone say "I want to have it come true"
I want to look through the fog
And see what I can do.
I wanna....
I want to get drunk and have a night
Like I used to do.
I want to have a woman say that I do it
The best that they've ever had,
Not that they don't want to be with me
Because I'm just too fat and mad.
Feeling like I've been had
Feeling like I've had enough
I'm feeling like I've been the one
Feeling like I've been undone
Feeling like I'm full of sin
Like a yuppie scum
Feeling like a Yuppie scum
I feel like a Yuppie scum
Onward through the fog,
I feel like a yuppie scum,
Like she poured the wine
I'm feeling like a yuppie scum
Hey, Paul Simon,come and get your son
Inspiration -- I feel it
Like an Edie Brickell loving
Like a oooh oooh oooh (gorilla sounds)
Ocular lobe, monkeyular geek freaking fool
Feeling like a Yuppie son

I hate the blues
I hate the blues
I hate the blues

I hate the blues .... (a bit of Tobacco Road)
to run this place called Tobacco Road
I hate the Blues
I hate the blues
I hate the blues
..... (a bit of I stay undercover)...
Feeling like a yuppie scum
Feeling like a yuppie scum

Chestnuts Roasting on an open fire
House burning down with all of my clothes

God rest ye Merry Gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
was born on Christmas day,
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy.
comfort and joy
oh tidings of comfort and joy.

Feeling like a Yuppie scum

I hate the blues
I hate the blues
I hate the blues
I hate the blues


I hate the blues
I hate the blues
I hate the..... I hate the blues

I'm feeling all right tonight
I'm going down to where I feel thankful
the words don't seem to flow just right
but that's okay because I'm feeling good.
Get the rhythm moving
they say that's all you really need
No one listens to the words anymore anyway
Listen to the birds singing
Listen to the dogs howling
Listen to the cats creating hate

(a bit of "Out in the Country")
Feeling like a Yuppie scum

In the red association gang
Gary is a business man
because every time you just pretend,
the words fall from your infant song

Headless witch
Headless witch is wearing a garter belt
and a guard her belt and a got heard belt
and a glitter collar
a Headless witch with
a garter belt and a glitter collar
Headless witch with
a garter belt and a gilded collar, a glitter collar

Headless witch with a garter belt and a glitter collar
burning in the kerosene light of my love
not quite incandescent enough
the backup lights on the
the backup lights on the
the backup lights on my
the backup lights on the volvo won't work
but I still feel in taste
.....encased
yeah, really in haste
encased
just in cased
I'm trying to spin the night off
just in case
I'll try to make, uh, money too
Just in case
Just in case, I'll do 1, 4, 5
Just in case you're still alive
I'll keep my love going just a while
yeah.

All I want for Christmas are my old teeth back
I'm so old now I've got rot growing into my brain
Maybe at Christmas time
Old farts can be made anew
sealed in an envelope
squishy little brown spots
Don't worrry they're not contagious
I haven't sounded this bad in,
well, a long time.
Just in case, I'll try to sound really nice.
Just in case, anybody else is listening
I'll take somebody else's advice and
I'll stand up straight
Lock the gate
Pull the armor in, you know,
Pull in the precious paintings off the lawn
scratch off the picasso signatures so no one knows
it's really art, you know
They say the roof's started to leak
and all the wallpaper's starting to freak out
because
the cat's been climbing it up the wall
and you can see the hardwood behind it all
You can see the hard wood behind it all
You can see the hard wood behind it all

Blue beret Bonnie beside you,
Clyde it's pretty clear
Swan Lake and a Cherry blossom
I love you, my dear
Oil leak. oil leak and some frosty arrests --
Neglect
Sam Ash dot com sent some more stuff to make some noise
Flies on the fly paper still here from Summer
Roof's started to leak.
The shades are all torn up
The wallpaper's kind of freaking
because the cat climbed up the wall
and what do we see in all this debris?
The hardwood starting to show through it all

And the rest of them
Beckon you. "I love you, Edie"
"I am what I am what I am"

("I stay undercover" bit)

Feeling like a yuppie scum
what have I become?
feeling like a yuppie scum

Keeping Catholic
I take the dog for a walk
The kind of life I'm living
I didn't even think about before
find the shoe shine boy
find the goo gone girl
find the old english pilot
Financial wizard
Who'll take us all to France
Well I don't know a good job
I didn't do a good job
I guess I can't go
I didn't do a good job
Smile at the neighbors who say
they don't really like you , man
Smile at the neighbors who say
turn off the gas it smells
Smile at the neighbors who say
I put some acid on your cats
Smile at the neighbors who say
I called the cops because your lawn's not mowed
Feeling like a
Feeling lika a
Feeling like a Christmas
Fellin like a Christmas in Hell
Feelin like it's Christmas
Feeling like it's Christmas in Hell

There's all kinds of dirt floating around
From the Church building
that's under deconstruction too
There're all kinds of neighbors saying
"We don't really like you"
There's an old lady sitting in there
Sick as a dog
And not able to care about
Christmas..... in Hell
Feels like Christmas in Hell
Feels like Christmas in Hell
Feels like Christmas in Hell

I haven't been able to find my life
It's all strewn around and everywhere
I haven't been able to find my wife
She's out playing around and she don't care.
It's everything I dreamed about in reverse, yeah
ah, It's everything I dreamed about in reverse, yeah
I feel like it's Christmas in Hell
Feel like Christmas in Hell
Hey, I know it's got to be worse
For other folks who are cursed
With bombing that's going down
In Afghanistan and all around.
There's murder in
Argentina, too.
There's all kind of stuff going on
That doesn't have anything to do with me or you.
Or does it?

I feel like Christmas
I feel like Christmas in Hell
I feel like it's Christmas in Hell
I feel like it's Christmas in Hell
and I'm feeling ..... unwell

Hey, I try to keep my keep my spirits up
and I light some Christmas lights
Let them play brightly
I try to ignore the chatter
and the lies and abuse
I'm so scared.
I try to play the trumpet
Play taps for all the dead
I try to remember that someone is.... being born
Too
It seems like nothing that I do
can take that edge away, take away
That blue, that blue-grey feeling
That it's Christmas in Hell
I feel like it's Christmas in Hell
And all I can say is "oh, well"

(bit of tune and scatting)

Got that gutteral
Got that gutteral girl
Got that gutteral
Got that gutteral
Got that gutteral
I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
aaaah don't look now
She's got my baby.
I believe you love my music.
I want to strum your face.
girl
got that gutteral
got that gutteral
I like that gutteral girl
That's the game. I make her sing.

I got that gutteral girl
I got that gutteral girl
Try to make an interesting attitude
come on girl I'll make it funny for you

I like that gutteral
She was walking down the street
yeah,
I need a place to stay
you look like a rich man
you look like a yuppie
you look like you need a gutteral girl

sing it high for me
come on come on come on

let me hear you say something baby

I love that gutteral girl

'Get out.
I love that gutteral girl.
"Get out"

(some notes and bit of 'Refugee")

onward Christian soldiers
marching as to war
Through the fields of destruction

Onward Christian soldiers
Carry the cross of Jesus

Onward Christian soldiers
wearing the cross of Jesus

Cross for every more

For all you people far away from home
For all you people

For all

For all the people I've ever known
and
a Merry Christmas


There's something pretty in the

There's something beaut

head cut off

There's something awfully amazing

Give a smile to the cashier
Don't fill the bucket with blood tonight

Don't say that nasty thing

It




I hate to leave this on a happy note
when things are so messed

Cynical cup My cup runneth over baby
and I don't know if I have anything more to say
Good Day

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